Another Groundhog Day is upon us, and here’s how things went in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, via the Associated Press:
A furry critter in a western Pennsylvania town has predicted six more weeks of winter during an annual Groundhog Day celebration.
People gathered Thursday at Gobbler’s Knob as members of Punxsutawney Phil’s “inner circle” summoned the groundhog from his tree stump at dawn to learn if he has seen his shadow — and they say he did. According to folklore, if he sees his shadow there will be six more weeks of winter. If he doesn’t, spring comes early.
The “inner circle” is a group of local dignitaries who are responsible for planning the events, as well as feeding and caring for Phil himself.
The Babylon Bee’s report notes that the AP left something out, because there was a lot more to the story:
Punxsutawney Phil Emerges From Burrow To Let Everyone Know There Are Some Documents Marked ‘Classified’ Down There https://t.co/lReq1M83z7
— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) February 2, 2023
LOL! Alert the DOJ and FBI.
This wins the Internet for today. 🤣 https://t.co/Ln0ByflHD7
— Phineas Fahrquar (@irishspy) February 2, 2023
Not a joke…not a joke 🤷🏼♂️ https://t.co/5F1zPbCBTL
— What the 🤦🏼♂️🤷🏼♂️🤦🏼♂️… (@TimBrad07934909) February 2, 2023
Phil is fully cooperating with authorities. 😂 https://t.co/m0vfbc0vZJ
— Teresa Ann Wise (@WisesSquidSquad) February 2, 2023
Wait’ll Phil finds out what’s on the laptop. Or maybe he already knows.
***
Related:
Babylon Bee’s take on how GOP is boosting party approval to record highs might not be satire
Allow The Babylon Bee to introduce you to the genius behind Kamala Harris’ unique oratory technique
The Babylon Bee mocks M&MS and the trans movement as only THEY can and it’s spectacular (watch)
***
Join us in the fight. Become a Twitchy VIP member today and use promo code SAVEAMERICA to receive a 40% discount on your membership.